Day 20: One of the Good Ones

Date: February 20, 2010
Friend: Danelle Myer
Activity: Tea, Cookies, Knitting, Thrifting
Location: Danelle's house, Scout, Hobby Lobby
Total $ Spent: $1.07

"But you're one of the good ones!" Danelle sympathetically declared on the day I resigned from the botanical gardens. Feeling validated but burdoned, I awkwardly asked her if she would escort me into the administrative building so that I could officially submit my letter of resignation. I hated putting her in that position, but she was the only person still around that afternoon and more importantly, I trusted her. That was one of the most defining days of my life, and Danelle was there to bear witness. AND boost my confidence.

Turns out Danelle and my family have been linked for years. She went to college with my brother-in-law's sister and her husband. To make things easier, let's just refer to them as Brenda and Lars from this point forward. Danelle, Brenda and Lars have all been friends for so long, and somehow Danelle and I never met until we worked together.....for approximately 77 days. If you refer back to date #1 with Miss Emily, you will discover that Danelle was a member of the "pretty girls" who intimidated me. Even though I thought I had an "in" with Danelle because of the family connection, I assumed she saw me as an outsider. One July morning, I mustered up the courage and invited her to coffee. We went to 13th Street Coffee, sat outside in the sun, and got past each other's preconceived notions. Done. Friends.

Today, I arrived at Danelle's house mid-afternoon (and guess what, it was snowy and cold) for tea and cookies. I am so envious of her house and how every inch of it fits her personality. When I daydream about how I will one day decorate the house I might one day occupy, I think of Danelle's home and how much I adore her style. From the moment I walked in the door, we were racing to catch each other up on all the little things we'd missed out on. She had a fancy spread of tea options waiting for me, as well as several ideas for our date. She dug out some books on writing and very kindly loaned them to me. She said some wonderfully delicious things about my writing and I think I blushed. No, I know I blushed. Resting on the books were a few skeins of yarn. I assumed she was in the middle of finishing a project, but it was better. So much better. One of her ideas for our date was to teach me how to knit!!! I actually jumped up and down with excitement.




We brewed our tea and cozied into her oversized couch cushions. We shared our secret desires to "backpack through Europe" and really find ourselves while living the simple life. Stop laughing, I could make that work. As long as I had bug spray and chapstick, I could survive. Of course we reminisced about our short-lived time as colleagues and accomplished some healthy venting over homemade oatmeal-raisin cookies. Yummo.

And then........the knitting commenced. She chose some yarn for me that was extra but also meaningful to her as she had originally purchased it for a relative who passed before their time. The story of the yarn itself was enough to make me want to learn knitting.

She showed me a little scarfey thing she made called a "Draft Dodger" which I kept accidently calling a "Cold Catcher." This was to be my first project. Danelle took care of the first row of the basic stitch so that I could focus on the technique of the actual looping and knotting. While her graceful, long fingers danced around the needles, I proceeded to tell her my entire life story from years 1995-2002 ish. When the first row - 26 loops - was finished, she guided me through the stitching.

When she passed me the needles and the yarn, I suddenly felt like my hands were big as boxing gloves. Clumsy, awkward and totally uncoordinated, I worked my fingers slowly and carefully. And guess what? My very first stitch was correct! We screamed and then laughed at each other for screaming. And then my beginner's luck curse stepped in and it took me several more tries to get the stitch right again. Danelle tried to fix my errors but I kept making the same mistake. Finally we realized I was going over instead of under on the final weave. See, now that I'm a knitter I can speak jargin.

We took a quick jaunt over to a house that I want to rent, but for the sake of not jinxing myself and the possibility of me getting said house, I didn't take pictures and I'm not going to share much of this part of the date, except to say that I adore the house and I am doing everything in my power to make it happen.

One of our early ideas for our date was to hop around thrift stores. Building on that, we thought I might find some buttons for my Cold Catch....I mean Draft Dodger at a cheap price if we tried thrifting. We started at Scout in Dundee. Um, why don't I shop there more often? Who has been keeping this a secret from me and why? Totally freaking fabulous finds. But for the random screaming toddler running around and continually turning the lights off, I fell in love with this store.

We pillaged every little item but found no buttons and nothing for less than $2. I considered cheating (like I always do) but didn't actually do it. I finally caved and asked the clerk if she knew of any items for $1 or less. This is when she pointed to the very obvious sign made on the Lite Brite glowing right in front of my face. Every Sunday, they have $1 sales. Sunday? But it was Saturday! Blast it all!!

Feeling a mixture of disappointment over the lack of buttons yet totally excited about $1 Sundays, Danelle and I decided to try a craft store instead. RANDOM CELEBRITY SIGHTING: PAT PERSUAD WAS WALKING INTO SCOUT AS WE WERE WALKING OUT. I TRIED TO ACT COOL BUT I STARED, OKAY. I STARED.

Hobby Lobby is one of those places that you either love or hate. I thought I would hate it, but I think I could learn to love it. Danelle led me to the fabrics and notions where we found buttons. So many buttons! There were a few for less than $1 but most of them were unattractive and not what I wanted. Of course the buttons that I coveted were in the $1.50-2.50 range. Again, cheating crossed my mind. And then Danelle found it - the one! The perfect button for my Cold...Draft Dodger and it was exactly $1.00. Victory is mine!

Our lovely date was drawing to a close and I dropped Danelle back at her darling home. I have my yarn, needles, and writing books to keep me company. I have a friend who inspires me, and helps me find my spirit. She's a good 'un, that Danelle.

On deck for day 21: Jenny. I'll be seeing you....

Day 19: Because Creativity Matters

Date: February 19, 2010
Friend: Scott Hendrickson
Activity: Art Opening and Jazz
Location: Bemis Underground and Sullivan's
Total $ Spent: $1

On a very hot, very crowded night at Jazz on the Green last summer, a young man approached the Membership table asking about things to do for young professionals as he was new to Omaha. Sensing his willingness to commit, Lora told him all about the Young Art Patrons. Before long, Scott became a member of the group and a regular at events. A professor at Creighton University, this young professional turned into a friend.

Our $1 date began at the Bemis Underground for their grand re-opening complimentary reception. Naturally, it was snowing and freezing cold so we felt very lucky to get decent parking. The Bemis Underground was recently remodeled and boasts a new curator. On this particular night, 3 artists were exhibiting solo shows. If you live in Omaha and you believe in art, please visit the Bemis. http://www.bemiscenter.org/art/underground.html

Within the first five minutes of walking through the "new" space, I was overjoyed to see so many familiar faces. Why haven't I realized that I am a part of the art community? Why am I still surprised to find that I know these people? I saw Anne S. from date #2, Anne M. who was featured in date #16 and the unfortunate ham incident, Daphne formerly of Word Made Flesh, Andy and Matt from Joslyn, Jean and Tom from Joslyn and Hot Shops, Thom from my past life, Ann Marie (Kenley's friend), Larry Ferguson, and so many others! How lovely it is to feel like you belong.

Scott and I wandered around a little and reflected on whether or not we actually "get" certain genres of art. I think that's the point isn't it? So much of it is open to interpretation. I am clearly not educated in art history and I'm no critic so I won't even try to pretend. I liked some of it, I didn't like some of it. The picture isn't very clear, but one thing I liked is below and it was from Rebecca Herskovitz's The Things I Cannot Say, in which letters never meant to be read are meshed into canvases with various sketches. There, how is that for creativity? We also walked past the Kent Bellows studio and read about the student programs.

After about an hour and half, we decided to try to find some free live music. Off to Sullivan's Steak House. Yes, I went to a steak house. We sat in the bar and listened to the piano player and drummer, who were quite good. The room was sparcely occupied even though it was a Friday night. I sniffed Scott's chocolate martini and decided that if I ever take up drinking, I'm definitely starting with one of those! As I sipped on my $1 Sprite, I admired the murals on the walls and stole a few of Scott's fries. We had a detailed conversation about the movie Avatar and I might actually be interested in seeing it thanks to Scott's review. I counseled him in the areas of dating since I'm such an expert......BAHAHAHAHAHA.....okay not really. We both whined a little about dating but didn't overindulge in self-pity.

Dodging past potholes, slush puddles, and freshly fallen snow, we hurried back to the car and called it a night. Omaha is certainly not the most kind in winter, but it never lets you down if you just give it a chance.

On deck for day 20: Danelle. I'll be seeing you......

Day 18: Separated at Birth

Date: February 18, 2010
Friend: Lora Kaup
Activity: Dinner
Location: Allison's house in Bellevue
Total $ Spent: $.88

A medical mystery, a neurotic lifestyle, a strong sense of self, devoted to family, workaholic. Silly and yet totally serious. Allergic to mushrooms and mold, and suffers from acid reflux like an old fat man. I'm not describing myself, but my dear Lora. We met at a Nebraska Shakespeare Festival meeting a couple years ago (was that all?) and shortly thereafter, I hired her to be the Membership Assistant at Joslyn. From our very first conversation about food allergies I knew this was a friendship for the ages.


Originally, we planned to see a free concert at the Slow Down but decided to go a little more mellow. Because she lives in Fremont, she frequently stays with her friend Allison in Bellevue to help ease her commute in the mornings. This is where I met up with her tonight. Now, I mean no offense to anyone when I say this, but BELLEVUE SMELLS BAD. Maybe not all of Bellevue, but everywhere I have ever been in Bellevue has a funky nasty stink. Stank is more like it. As my Great Grandma Tillie would say, "Feh!"

We made a quick stop at Wal-Mart, much to my chagrin. I don't usually got to Wal-Mart unless I absolutely have to. It's blechy. And like I have already expressed, it smelled outside. Once we were finally in the store, we found our way to the frozen pizza section and grabbed our California Pizza Kitchen four cheese dinner. We also bought salad fixins for which my contribution was an $.88 can of low sodium garbanzo beans. Apparently this is the first time Lora has ever realized that garbanzo beans are the same thing as chick peas. Her revelation tickled us both.




Back at the house, Lora pulled out the Presto Maker or Presto Magic. or Pesto Marker, or some such appliance which cooks pizza. As we prepared our salads, she told me about her recent weekend trip to Kansas City and how she was pulled over for having a headlight out and ended up taking the full sobriety test. Imagining Lora in a police car in Kansas City isn't actually as difficult as I might have predicted. She can be quite adventurous when she wants to be. She also recently went from being blonde to strawberry blonde in order to stop breaking the hearts of men. I don't think Left Behind, Allison's fish, is too impressed with her new hair. Then again, he pretty much looks dead all the time so I'm not sure what would inspire him.

Lora is the glue in the lives of many people and sometimes I worry that she doesn't do enough for herself. She apologized for not being "there" for me during my time of woe. She said she feels so pulled in so many different directions that she just can't give me as much time as everyone else. I jokingly said, "Oh really? So where I do fall in this long list of needy people??" And she retorted, "You're 5 okay? Five is all I got!" In all honesty, I have never felt like a 5 in her life. She is one of the most supportive, encouraging people I have ever known. If this is how it feels to be a 5, who needs to be a 1?

As we gorged on our amazing pizza and giant salads, we watched the first half of Grey's Anatomy. Would you believe that 2 petite chicks with tons of food alleriges finished off the whole pizza? I'm not even sure how many slices we each ate but we killed it. And she had the nerve to offer me dessert! We chatted about how things are going for her at the Museum without me, and how my job search is going. I told her that it hasn't bothered me that she has been so busy because I really don't feel like I'm in a crisis. She said she's happy that I seem to be holding it all together well. So far so good anyway.

Her friend Allison came home and the 3 of us giggled like school girls. Lora tried to gain pity for having "freakishly long legs" making it impossible for her to touch her toes. Yeah, you're not going to get pity from me - a girl with freakishly long arms, a large booty, and 2 spleens. Allison has no rump and expected me to feel bad for her lack of junk in the trunk. So I made them go through some basic stretching and breathing exercises, showing them that through proper exercise you can increase your flexibility pretty quickly (thank you Carolyn McDonald). We basically agreed that the grass is always greener because I want a smaller rear but I can touch my toes, Allison is skinny but has no curves, and Lora is long-legged but has a short torso. See? There's always something.

We cleaned up the kitchen without disrupting Left Behind and I bundled up for the long drive back to South Dakota. (For those of you who don't live in Omaha, that is a joke because I live really far northwest. It is funny and ironic and you should laugh now.) Lora told me not to worry about being a 5 right now because I will always have the front seat in her car on the road of life. Yes, she really said that. But I'll give her a 5 for effort.

On deck for day 19: Scott H. I'll be seeing you.......

Day 17: Who Raised You?

Date: February 17, 2010
Friend: Becky Scherbring
Activity: An Education, errands
Location: Oakview AMC and thus and such
Total $ Spent: $0

I am she and she is me. She is my best friend and sometimes worst enemy. She is my inspiration, my role model, my Achilles heel, my soul mate. My big sister “Leroy” is the reason for everything I am, and everything I do. Fine, I will take some credit for being my own person. But anyone who has grown up with a sibling knows the profound impact of their partner in crime. My sister didn’t create me, but my sister made me.

Becky is a second grade teacher who is fortunate enough to job share her classroom. This means she works half days and every other Wednesday all day. Today was her day off and it was the perfect day for our date. We decided....wait, she decided a few days ago that we should see as many of the 10 movies nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award before the show. We made an attempt by starting with Inglourious Basterds but I'm sorry to say that we didn't finish the film. So today we decided to use our gift cards to see An Education for our $1 date. Our gift cards covered the cost of our tickets and our snacks. I had a tiny bag of popcorn and a cup of water and she had a soda and nachos, which we shared. Have you ordered movie nachos lately? They have vastly improved since the days of the stale chips and the coagulated orange faux cheese. AND, they taste better. I know you don't believe me, but man oh man that queso was delicio!

The movie was good, really good. But was it "Best Picture" good? Eh, not so much. The performances are strong and the story is definitely interesting. Unfortunately, we just weren't that moved. We didn't leave the theatre thinking "this was my favorite movie of the year!" I kind of think a Best Picture nominee should knock your socks off and rock your world a little bit.

After the movie and a strange encounter with a Cyndi Lauper look-alike in the women's restroom who mysteriously developed a New York accent while warning us against cell phone salesmen, we went to Kohl's to take care of Becky's exchanges. Me and Becky and Kohl's is usually intensely dangerous. Almost as bad as Target. But guess what, y'all? We both escaped without spending anything!! I was tempted by the sale on.....ahem.....personal undergarments, but I walked away. I did find these terry cloth shorts interesting. Why in the world would someone need terry cloth shorts? Does this mean I'm getting old? They were soft and everything, but I can't imagine they are very practical. Can't you just feel them shifting into all the wrong places? I digress. I also gazed at the Vera Wang bedding designs. Yummy.

From Kohl's, we went to the Verizon store to window shop for our "new every 2" phone upgrades. The rep that checked us in was chewing gum, texting while showing us phones, and kept saying things like "I don't think we do that here" and "um, I'd have to check. Did you want me to check?" like a full-on valley girl. Super helpful, let me tell you. Becky and I can speak with our eyes and as soon as we heard her voice, our green eyes met and flickered the following conversation, "oh my God, is she for real?" "Yes, and don't make me laugh." We also have a gift for communicating while brushing our teeth or swishing mouthwash. We can even do this over the phone and completely understand what the other one is saying. I swear, I'm not making it up.

We both dug into our purses to see if we had coupons for a 2-for-1 or a cheap meal so we could grab lunch. And what do you know? We carry the exact same coupon-holder-file-thingie. Nerd alert!

Becky wanted to get home and spend some time with her Charlie, and I needed to work on some of my "Life To-Do List." I made it through many items, but is one's Life List really ever finished? I hope not. Anyway, tonight happened to be our dinner night with our mom. I don't really consider that as part of our $1 date, but it just so happens I didn't spend any money on that either since it was Becky's turn to provide food.

I think pretty much everyone knows that our mom has Asperger's Syndrome, and that our relationship with her is anything but conventional. If you would like to read more, you can read my article in Autism Asperger's Digest at http://www.autismdigest.com/. It's called The Story of Fred and Leroy and it details our childhood of knowing our mom was different but not knowing why. It's no secret that I hope to write a full book about it...in the not so distant future?

At the end of our day/dinner we painted our nails in funky colors. She chose a crazy cool matte blue and I went for disco-ball glitter. Charlie wanted to help and Bryan ended up with some color as well.

Becky was my first playmate and my first teacher. She was my first friend and first co-star. Dance routines, fashion shows, works of art, concerts (public and private), and roller skating. She was even my first co-worker when we started our own babysitting business, the "Super Summer Sister Sitters." And of course she was my first boss. I carried her purse for most of the 1980's. If I'm lucky enough to write a book about my mom, then I intend to follow up with a book about my sister. It's the only way I can ever really tell her how grateful I am that she raised me (with a little help from our dad, of course).

On deck for day 18: Lora. I'll be seeing you.....

Day 16: Kindred Spirits

Date: February 16, 2010
Friend: Marjorie Maas
Activity: Triple Threat
Location: Dundee Gallery, Pitch, Diane and Howard's
Total $ Spent: $1

It's crazy to think that Marjorie and I only met two years ago, because we have known each other our whole lives. Both dedicated and passionate arts managers, we missed officially meeting each other by a sliver of time throughout the years. We had the same internship with the Nebraska Shakespeare Festival, just a few years apart. We know all of the same people. We are avid lovers of the visual arts and have the same value system. She hates bread and I hate wine, but together that makes sense. We are both theatre nerds. At the risk of sounding cliche, I simply adore Marji.

She is a small business owner, mother, and scarf expert. There has never been a scarf that didn't look good on her and that she couldn't tie in that really cool way that New Yorkers use but act like they don't think they look as cool as they do. You know what I'm talking about. Marjorie is a loving soul who has the ability to make everyone feel as though they are the most special.

Our date was in three parts, but to be perfectly honest we spent most of the day together. We both serve on the Community Board for the Shakespeare Festival, and we had back-to-back committee meetings today. Our date officially began in the evening at the Omaha Young Arts Administrators networking event. We started at the Dundee Gallery - a place where you should all shop and support. Visit them at http://www.dundeegallery.com/. Go there, and go there often. Featuring local art works in various mediums, the Gallery is located in the heart of the swingin Dundee scene.


It was so tempting to buy some jewelry, but I stayed strong. I especially fell for the pendants designed on coins and the whimsical block paintings on a tree.

I had the opportunity to catch up with some arts professionals whom I haven't seen since "the break up" with Joslyn, and I met some new individuals. I just can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be supported by your colleagues. It seems as though these people have confidence in me that I possibly don't deserve. I'm not fishing for compliments, I promise. I guess it's just such a humbling experience to lose your job and yet feel valued in your community.

After about an hour at the Gallery, the group shivered our way to Pitch, a new pizza joint owned by the Godfather himself, Willy Thiesen. Again, super hard to not splurge on a specialty pizza, so I look forward to going back when my budget allows it. I also recommend using the Pitch restroom because it is way cool and I'm sad I didn't take a picture to share with everyone. Marjorie ordered a yummy salad and shared a few bites with me, so naturally I paid her $1 for my portion. I would like to reiterate that the point of this project is not to make people buy things for me!

I have to give a shout out to one Ms. Anne Meysenberg for saving me from a potential ham crisis of the century. Casey from Film Streams ordered brussel sprouts and was offering them around the table. Ewww right? Well everyone was raving about how good they were, so I went in for a bite. Just as I was about to go for it, Anne says, "woah, that has ham in it." Whew! That would have been a major disaster. Can you imagine? I've been vegetarian for like 87 years and the first time I meet a brussel sprout I get a giant slap in the face by meat-loving Nebraska. A word to cooks and chefs: not everything needs to have meat in it, m'kay? Especially a vegetable appetizer. Thanks.

The third and final destination for my date with Marjorie was at a Mardi Gras party hosted by our friends, Howard and Diane Coffin. They are kind and gracious people who love to party. It's true. They have a bar in their basement. (Diane is pictured on the left)

I wished that I hadn't already eaten because Diane and Howard always have the best appetizers and tasty treats at their parties. Cheese-y things, dessert things, beans and rice on stove. Delicious savory scents filled the house.

I forced myself to down a cookie and a virgin Hurricane, which Marji also enjoyed. I also wish I was a drinker because Howard is the best bartender in town!

As Marjorie, her friend Michelle, and I chatted on the couch, Marjorie discovered that her piece of King Cake contained the Baby Jesus! This means she has to make next year's cake which is really funny because Marjorie loves to cook, but doesn't bake. She is very down on her baking skills. I'm sure she'll come up with something by next year, possibly seeking advice from the very talented Diane.

Bouncing around town with a dear friend is totally fulfilling. I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I remember that these people are actually in my life. They are my friends and colleagues. I have built myself a circle in Omaha, and I'm so thankful that it continues to expand.

On deck for day 17: Becky. I'll be seeing you.....